Pursuing Panamanian Peace and Perspicacity

Adios Peace Corps

2009-05-16T19:22:00.021-04:00

This week my Peace Corps service has unfortunately come to an end. And quite abruptly, too. After having a mysteriously swollen ankle for 8 weeks, I recently had a biopsy to determine the cause. Who knew that the results of this biopsy would lead to the Peace Corps sending me home as the results indicated that I had developed a condition that makes a person ineligible for Peace Corps service. If I had known that, I would not have been smiling in the photo taken right after the biopsy.

I am probably the healthiest person to be medically separated from Peace Corps service. I feel great, and the condition is easily treatable. None the less, when Peace Corps decides that a volunteer needs to leave, they waste no time. I found out this news on Monday and boarded a plane back to the States on Friday.

Saying rushed goodbyes and leaving projects unfinished in my community is not how I expected to end my service. However, my community was amazingly understanding and generous. With just a few hours notice, they put together a farewell party. They cooked a feast of chicken and rice for 80 people, and I brought in pizza, a first for my village in the jungle.

During this impromptu farewell party, several members of the community gave touching speeches. It cracked me up that during my mini speech, many members of the village took pictures with their camera phones.

I am going to miss my community tremendously. Here are some photos of some of my friends.

Amelia and her daughter Keri ------------->

Girlscouts Erica, Daris, and Anabel ----->

The 2 Deborahs ------------------>

Norberto the Treasurer ----->

My surprise final week in Panama would have been an overwhelming and miserable experience if it were not for the help and support of one of my best Peace Corps buds. As soon as I received the bad news that I would be leaving, Emily hopped on a bus and spent time helping me pack and keeping me from panicking. I am forever grateful for her help and friendship.

This concludes my adventure in Panama. It has been quite an experience: Training the villagers to use a computer, teaching HIV/AIDS awareness, showing James Bond on a big-screen in the village, practicing English with students, teaching Personal Finance, throwing a pizza party, living without water and electricity on some days, enhancing Accounting and Marketing practices, and developing and then conquering a fear of crocodiles. I heard a doctor on the show Doctor 90210 say about his trip to help Mexican children, "I came here to help the children and had no idea how much I would help myself." Ha, I think he meant to say how much they would help him, which is how I feel about my experience in Parara Puru, Panama. My perspectives on work, family, money, food, friends, and school to name a few have changed drastically. The village has become a second family to me, and hopefully I will have made a lasting effect in the community as the community has done for me internally. As chief Claudio says, "It's not goodbye, it's see you later." Bia Bua.

Construction in Panama

2009-01-14T18:17:00.004-05:00

Construction in the rain forest is quite different than in the U.S. The only permit needed is permission to cut trees. The only inspection made is by the village elder. Hardhats, safety goggles, rope tie offs? None of that either. But the construction still turns out pretty sound. The photos below are of the construction of my neighbor/friend/ and fellow Peace Corps volunteer Jake´s house.

Clearing and Grading

Home Depot

Delivery

Framing

Roofing

Ready for the Floor

Bedroom

Kitchen

Extermination (Yes, that´s a snake in his hand)

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T17:20:00.002-05:00

It’s Thanksgiving, and this year may be one of the best I’ve ever had, although it got off to a rocky start. Because of a tropical depression in the Caribbean Sea, Panamá has been inundated with downpours this past week, resulting in flooded communities, washed-out bridges, and landslides. Volunteers in my county were evacuated to the country capital, and it seemed as though our thanksgiving celebration would be cancelled. However, thanks to the efforts of a handful of volunteers, our celebration is back on in a new, dryer location, which means plates of turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, broccoli casserole, and more stuffing. While I chopped up 20 lbs of broccoli, I had time to think about Thanksgiving, not with any historical regard, but more so of my appreciation for what I had taken for granted.

I have never felt more thankful to be an American. In the USA, there are abundant opportunities to achieve our dreams. We are hard on ourselves, our government, our educational system, our employers, economic policies, and the media, but these criticisms promote a pursuit for improvement and better life. Our country is a land where dissenting opinions can be voiced, entrepreneurs can thrive in business endeavors, engineers invent, and parents who dropped out of high school can see their children graduate from college. Parents do not worry that their children will be plagued with a debilitating endemic disease, and the sick are comforted in the reliefs of modern medicine for formerly fatal illnesses. Hard work and prudent decisions generally produce a lucrative and merry pay off. We are comfortable in our heated and cooled homes with plumbing and solid barriers from nature’s critters. Personal automobiles are commonplace. Substitutes teach when teachers cannot. We vote for government representatives. It’s beautiful.

Prior to Peace Corps service, I had not fully appreciated these aspects of being an American. Perhaps I focused more on the negative traits of American society instead of being grateful for the positives. I also did not realize what life could be life without these attributions. Chopping head after head of broccoli, I contemplated the country, the opportunities, the health, and even the people I had underappreciated. For so much I am thankful.

Peace Corps?

2008-11-27T17:00:00.002-05:00

Sitting at a table in a hostel, typing away on the computer, I overheard the topic of Peace Corps among some young travelers at the next table over. "Their guns shoot hearts," one of them laughed. "It’s quite an old-fashioned hippie mentality" chimed in another. I thought about joining their conversation to clarify Peace Corps' goal and methodology of sustainable development but could think mostly of my own preoccupations with the organization. During my one year as a Peace Corps volunteer thus far, I have come to disagree with major components of the Peace Corps structure, although none of which include any hint of a wimpy organization. So what don’t I like?

1.The Peace Corps is tax funded.
I am for a limited government that provides security and protection to its citizens so that they may pursue contentment. I feel that social assistance should be left to individuals and private or nonprofit organizations.

2.One of the Peace Corps' 3 goals is to foster a better image of the United States.
When someone donates their time, money, or efforts, they do so because of personal reasons. It is a private activity between the giver and recipient, which shouldn’t be done for accolades from bystanders.

3.It is not as results-oriented as I would like.
During our first day in Panamá, volunteers were told not to focus on seeing change. We may see it, we may not, but we needn´t get hung up on seeing results because change can take time. I, however, am here for results. If I don´t see improved economic opportunities, increased income, or healthier and prudent decisions in my community, I will feel I have failed.

4.Assignments are not as thoroughly researched as I would hope.
After Peace Corps, volunteers have the option to work on Crisis Corps projects. Theses are assignments for a specific amount of time, in a specific community, working on a specific project. On the other hand, Peace Corps volunteers are assigned a community, are given a list of possible projects, and are told to go, analyze the community, and figure out how he/she can help. Without the arduous grunt work of researching a community before sending a volunteer, the volunteer runs the risk of not finding sufficient work.

5.We do not have money for projects.
The Peace Corps prides itself on our non-paternalistic method of teaching a man to fish rather than giving a man a fish. However, you may have to buy a fishing pole before the teaching can begin. Thus, even if volunteers are able to develop ideas for projects to improve their communities, finding the funds can be a difficlt task. The U.S. government sends financial aid to promote sustainable development in foreign countries, but oddly, that money is not tied to the designers and implementers of sustainable development projects -the Peace Corps volunteers. Rather, Peace Corps volunteers seek funds on their own and may or may not successfully fund their projects. And so their projects may or may not materialize.

Overall, I enjoy my work, my community, and my Peace Corps experience. There are, however, some aspects that I am just not a big fan of.

One year down, One to go

2008-10-28T17:34:00.003-04:00

Whew. One year of Peace Corps service has crawled by. Although I am glad to be here, I must say that this has been the longest year of my life. I think the second year may even fly by, though, now that I´ve established a bit of a groove and niche. Here are some of the highlights of year number one, of course in list format because thats what I do:

Best Days
1. Norberto calculating payroll with Excel completely on his own.
2. Successfully negotiating better prices with 3 of our biggest tourism clients.
3. Wearing a paperhat and hitting a piñata at my surprise birthday party.
4. Girlscout Camp invloving Family Planning seminars and hourly snacks
5. AIDS Day in my site with several communities, volunteers, and the ministry of health.
6. Making and printing our first marketing brochure.
7. My chief phoneing me one morning that I should immediatly jump in a boat to head down river to attend a meeting.

Worst Days
1. Getting sick from the water and having to use the latrine with no roof in the rain while termites crawled up my leg after nearly falling down my log ladder because of a bum ankle.
2 and 3. Awaking to tourists taking my picture or climbing into my house during the 2 times that I got sick from the water.
4. Being banned from an Embera-only meeting (which is why number 7 above was so great).

Biggest Fears
1. Falling off of my house.
2. Falling out of the boat.
3. Falling off my ladder.
4. My house being struck by lighning and then falling to the ground.

Goals for next year
1. Our marketing project will be funded.
2. We will create a cultural and botanical exhibit and tourist pathway.
3. We will negotiate better prices with all current agencies.
4. We will establish relationships with new agencies and recieve a consistently higher level of tourism
5. We will sell more handicrafts.
6. The elementary students will have a better understanding of math and be able to read more proficiently.
7. Members of my community will operate the computers effectively without me.
8. More income will come into the community.
9. The community will learn methods of saving money to acheive their goals.
10. I will work myself out of a job.

So, to celebrate one year of service, the other volunteers and I spent 2 nights at a resort. It seems wrong, but it was wonderful. Here are some of the photos.

Norberto and Junior

2008-09-22T15:26:00.006-04:00

Volunteers typically find a leader in their community with whom to work on projects. Although there is great leadership in my community, I initially struggled to find someone who could devote the time and energy to working on community projects with me. The community had expressed an interest in acquiring and learning to use a computer, and I was excited to teach potential accounting and marketing techniques. However, it took some time to earn the confidence of the community, especially with such delicate issues as money. Throughout my first year, Norberto ( The Secretary of the Tourism Group who handles all the money) and I began working more and more together. Norberto, who used to calculate payroll by hand and had never used a computer before, now knows how to use Excel spreadsheets to calculate payroll and generate contracts in Word. Sky's the limit with Norberto.

Junior, the Chief's son, has also been working on the computer with me. He helped to create the brochures and business cards for the community. We practice English too, in hopes that one day he will be able to give presentations about the Embera culture to English speaking tourists.

I really enjoying working with these 2 guys!

The Rockin Brochure and Business Card my Community made

2008-09-19T11:36:00.018-04:00

Lately, I’ve been working with my community on raising our tourism prices. What a delicate situation. For years, Tourism agencies have refused to pay higher prices and give only a small fraction of what they receive from tourists to my community, which can end up being about 20cents per employee for a day’s worth of work (For instance, the agencies receive up to $130 from a tourist but pay only $12 to the community). I have tried to convey to my community the leverage we have and that we are in a position to ask for and receive higher payment. My community offers an awesome experience, and tourists usually have a wonderful time. Also, if we work with other Embera tourism communities to set a standard price throughout this niche in the industry, we are in a strong position to negotiate higher pricing from agencies. Some agencies have recently agreed to our new prices, which has been a huge confidence builder for my community. However, some agencies still insist on paying ultra low prices, and I told my community to tell them to take a hike- we don’t work for free. This advice was a difficult decision to reach on my part because tourism is the only source of income in my community. The past mentality of the village has been that little income is better than none, and so they have been afraid to take the risk of loosing a client. However, I have advised my community to be firm with our new prices and take the chance on loosing some clients. As for those agencies that threaten to halt business with us because they can’t afford our new prices, I invite them to find a better deal. Chances are, they won’t and will either return to us or will pursue other types of tourist excursions. Either way, we are better off.

In the meantime, we are launching a marketing campaign to print business cards and brochures in order to promote the community and establish new tourism agency contacts. We are seeking funds for printing the aforementioned documents, making modifications to our office so we can operate the computer safely in the jungle, and building an Embera display garden to exhibit the important plants for basket weaving, seed and wood carvings, and medicine.

I have submitted a proposal for funds to be donated to this project at
https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=resources.donors.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=525-099
Anyone can donate.

Whats up in the Village these days

2008-09-19T11:36:00.003-04:00

I have a busy few weeks ahead of me. My girlscouts, who learned about AIDS during our recent outing, are going to host an AIDS Day and teach information on AIDS and family planning to guys and gals from 4 neighboring Embera Indian communities. I think my girls are excited that it is a good way for them to meet guys, which is why this information is so important. Ahh teenagers. I am also going to help train the new group of Peace Corps volunteers. I guess this makes me a Junior helping the underclassman. Hee hee. I am going to talk to them about creating an organization, writing contracts, human resources, payroll, accounting, and ecotourism services. Soon, I am also giving a Personal Finance seminar in my community- not because they asked for it, but because I’m a nerd and like that type of thing. Plus, it’s really helpful information that can help them plan for emergencies, build a hut addition, buy a boat, and achieve other goals. Famous Debora, as I like to call her since she is an extra in James Bond- Quantum of Solace, is going to help me give this seminar.

My buddies are in the new James Bond Movie: From left to right- Israel, Debora, and Vilka.

More HIV/AIDS Awareness

2008-08-15T18:51:00.004-04:00

I recently visited my wondeful volunteer buddy Mick on his Nobe Indian Reservation. We both work with Indigenous communities, although I live with the Embera tribe and he lives with the Nobes. Members of his community are much more bashful and demure than my community, which made our project of teaching HIV/AIDS to a group of 75 Nobe children quite a challenge.

(The volunteers and a handful of the kids from the HIV/AIDS presentation)

(Mick and the incredible view from his house. Before I came to Panama, I saw a photo of this house with a group of volunteers inside it on a blog. Who knew that I would be there months later with Mick- the follow-up volunteer- and our new group of friends).

Girlscout Camp

2008-08-15T17:56:00.006-04:00

Recently, one of my best volunteer buds Emily and I decided to hold a girlscout camp. Well, actually, I thought it would be a good idea and applied for funding while Emily was out of the country, and she was such a good sport to make it all happen when she returned. So...I brought my Embera Indian group of 6 girlscouts across the country to meet Emily's Latin girlscouts and learn about HIV/AIDS. Ultimately, the intent was also to bring the 2 groups of girls together to try to tackle the racism against Indians that sometimes exist in Panama as well as encourage my girls to break the cycle of having lots of babies and at a young age (some of them have 8 brothers and sisters!). With all the help from Emily and her girlscouts, our camp was a great success. When post-tested, the gals proved they had a strong understanding of HIV/AIDS, and our 2 groups got along famously.

(Me and my girlscouts who, just like American teenie boppers, planned matching outfits)

(My and Emily's girlscouts in their traditional Indian and Latin skirts)

Borrowed Photographs

2008-08-15T17:50:00.005-04:00

Since my camera is no more, I have been borrowing photos from friends. Here are a couple. The first is of me after surgery on my tootsies. The next is of Jake and Coco and their boat jam session. Lastly, my goofy volunteer buddies after a night of all you can eat pizza.

Ouch

2008-06-20T14:25:00.007-04:00

I wish I had pictures. Its gross but neat. At least, though, its likely to leave a cool scar although the story won't be as exciting as a machete, snake, or flesh eating bacteria incident would have been.

Infections scare me. You never know what they are going to do. For the past 6 months, I have had an infection on my foot that just wouldn't go away with doctor's visits and antibiotic treatment- pretty much because life in the jungle can be a bit dirty. It was getting worse, spreading to the other foot and my leg, and was painful, so the doctor decided to cut out the infection. I have 7 stitches. Stinks that I am out of commission for 2 weeks because I had lots planned. Its the 45th anniversary of Peace Corps in Panama, and many former volunteers are returning to Panama for the celebration as well as the Big Big Boss of all of of the Peace Corps. Some were planning to come to my site, and I was organizing a project for them to work on "for old times sake." We were going to make an Embera medicinal garden as well as a garden/exhibit for all the plants that are used to make our indian handicrafts plus a lovely pathway throughout the community to get to these gardens. Currently, tourists take a walk down a path to visit the school- and when I am teaching there, I feel like we are on display in a zoo as the tourists gather around, oohh and aww and take pictures. So, I like our new idea of a tourist pathway with a destination that shows more culture and leaves the kiddos alone. But, I will have to wait until another week to do this project. Bummer. It will still be fun later (my girlscout troop will be helping), but it would have been a cool project with the former peace corps volunteers.

I recently got a new computer for my community and we are using it for so much- I am teaching the students how to use a computer, but more importantly we are practicing with computer programs that enable the kids to learn their alphabet, to read, count, and do math. Our community Tourism Group is also doing a lot with this computer- such as accounting and marketing projects. The Tour Guides that visit our community get a kick out of Indians using computers. Guess it is a little strange to see a man in a loin cloth calculating payroll on Excel. I found out yesterday, that my proposal for a printer for the community was approved. Now we can print out accounting documents as well as the business cards and handicraft logos/labels we've created on the computer. Yay!

The airconditioning, hot water, matress, and lack of bugs have been nice touches lately in the hotel, but I'm already ready to get back to site. It is comforting to know that medical treatment here is high quality. I feel like I am in good hands and that I have received better treatment here than I did in the states (less wait time and I pay absolutely nothing). I am lucky but feel guilty. They definetely don't receive health treatment like this in my community.

Gross

2008-06-19T16:02:00.007-04:00

This is what happens when you leave a bagged loaf of bread on the counter after sunset in the jungle.

Ovens are so last year

2008-06-19T15:00:00.006-04:00

You can cook nearly anything on a stove. Calzones, baked pretzels, garlic breadsticks, biscuits, tortillas...maybe even cookies, but I haven't tried that yet. The community has really liked rice crispy treats and spaghetti and meatballs. I love using banana leafs as pot covers, although I haven't quite mastered cooking 5 pounds of rice, which as it turns out was too much food for my guest family of 8. However, instead of a fridge for leftovers, I call the neighborhood kids over to finish off the grub.

Pictures

2008-06-19T14:18:00.003-04:00

My camera died, so here are some photos of friends that I have snagged from other peace corps buddies:

Cultural Week

2008-05-27T11:46:00.001-04:00

Cultural Week, a week where new Peace Corps volunteers live in my community to learn about the culture, has come to an end. Everything turned out well, but making certain that the volunteers were happy and healthy, that host families were content, and that all sessions/ classes went smoothly was taxing because random problems consistently arose:

After planning cultural week and assigning roles to the community, over half of the community decided to leave for a 4 day work trip in the jungle to build a boat. Our lunch cooks ran out of rice after cooking a weeks supply of rice in 3 days. A host family slept in and did not feed their volunteer. 2 volunteers got very, very sick. A host family had to go the hospital, leaving noone at home with their volunteer. The language teacher arrived late because of the rain. The school teacher gave a test when we planned to practice teaching in the school. My cell phone broke.

It all worked out, though, and ended with a farewell party that included cakes and a huge pot of chicken and rice (It would have been nice to break out the chief’s kareoke machine had we had electricity that night). All and all, we had a fun Cultural Week.

Doctor Quinn

2008-05-27T11:45:00.002-04:00

I made medicinal tea from a plant in the rainforest today. I am hosting cultural week for 3 Peace Corps trainees, one of which has a stomach ache. During one of our sessions today, we learned from an elder in the community about medicinal plants, and I used the stem and leaves of one plant to create a tea. The result? The trainee got violently ill.

Not Again

2008-05-27T11:45:00.001-04:00

It was 3 am, and I was sleeping solidly. That is until I heard movement on my porch. Surely it’s just an animal, I tried to convince myself. However, children can ascend my stairs silently, cross my porch stealthily, and sneak up on me. Thus, for me to hear the stepping on my bouncy lumber floor and feel the slight sway of the house, the uninvited guest had to have been bigger than an animal or child. I grabbed my flashlight to the side of my pillow, and shone the light into the gapping crevice where my bedroom wall meets the roof. Loud, quick movements ensued towards the direction of my stairs, followed by silence.

I tried to resume sleep, somewhat comforted by the feeling that my door was locked and that the overhead gaps would be difficult for a person to climb through. My fears were disassuaged, though, as I considered the ease someone would have of entering my bedroom walls, floor, and roof made of sticks and leaves. Had I been the little pig who made her house out of bricks, I may have been able to go back to sleep.

At 6am when the sun came up, I unlocked and opened my door and stepped out onto my open porch. My tree stump, which doubles as a chair and side table, had been moved right in front of my door, apparently for a third use as a stepping stool in an attempt to climb over my door. I explained this disturbing experience to the chief who said if I ever hear anything odd, I should call him regardless of what time it is, and he will run over.

My first argument in Spanish

2008-05-27T11:44:00.000-04:00

A non profit group (which is funded by the U.S. government oddly enough) organized a meeting with me, my community, neighboring communities, and a tour guide from a tour agency, all with the hopes of working together to generate tourism ideas that bennefit everyone. During a small group activity, I partnered with the tour guide, and he asked the question that I get on the daily ~ what is my purpose here? So, I responded that I want to help create opportunities here, and that by working with the tourism group, I hope to generate more income to allow the opportunities for better health and education. His response caught me off guard, though ~ Why do they need better education? This is perhaps one of the most shocking questions I have heard. I just assumed that everyone agreed that the more education, the better.

This tour guide’s remark was triggered by his legitimate concern that if community members receive more than an elementary school education, they may want to have a career outside of the community. And then what happens to their culture? My response seemed to urk the tour guide, though. I told him that I hoped the children here have the opportunity to be whatever they want to be and that what is best for them is not my decision. Nor his. It’s up to each individual. And further education opens the door to more options.

After our uncomfortable small group session, we joined the large group. When I was asked for suggestions for improvements, I suggested that Tour Agencies pay more.

Time for More Pictures

2008-05-27T11:23:00.002-04:00

Photos above are of:

The village bicycle (there is no chain, no seat, and no back tire, but the kids love taking turns riding it)

Me and another volunteer Kelly (during an impromptu trip to her site that got me in hot water with my supervisors)

Buddies Mick and Patrick (Patrick had a flesh eating bug and spent 3 weeks in the city receiving medical treatment)

2 Famous Deborahs

2008-05-06T16:47:00.002-04:00

A film crew recently visited my site to film a tv segment on the indigenous roots of Panama. I was typing a proposal on the computer in the storage shed when I was asked to participate in this video. Initially, I declined, but when the director said in English with a wonderful Spanish accent, “What, you don’t want to be in my beautiful video?” I obliged. And so I sat on the steps of the shed pretending to teach English to an Embera youth holding a dictionary. I felt silly and was certain the footage would be scrapped.

I didn’t have the chance to see the tv program. Days later, though, I visited another volunteer, met her host family, and her host dad recognized me from the tv program! I used to call the other Deborah in my site Famous Deborah because she is an extra in the New James Bond movie, but now we are both superstars :)

Roof Photos

2008-05-06T16:20:00.001-04:00

Photos are of Regu repairing my roof , the pesky chicken on the roof (which you can barely see), and me happy with my new roof. (My camera no longer functions well so photos aren’t too clear).

Parties

2008-05-06T16:06:00.002-04:00

Photos are of me and Michele at her baby shower as well as my Panamanian birthday party extravaganza.

Ready for the Rain

2008-05-06T16:05:00.000-04:00

I am ready for the rainy season because my roof has been repaired. When I had a leaky roof in the states, I solicited several estimates from roofers in the phonebook, chose the most appropriate contractor, and paid $150 to fix the leak. Things are a bit different in the village. For my leak, I needed the following:

* $10 (40 palms leaves at a quarter each)
* $4.15 for a gallon of gasoline to go down river to get the palms
* A chicken (My friend Coco who helped me obtain the palms wouldn’t accept payment, so I bought him a chicken for dinner)
* Dinner (My friend Regu who did the repairs also wouldn’t accept payment, so I cooked dinner for him)

I think my friend Regu has got to have the best attitude of anyone I’ve ever met. He smiled and laughed the entire time he made the roof repairs. He worked hard and quickly (2 ½ hours) and had no problem standing on roof structure made of wooden poles not much thicker than my wrist. He even got rid of a big termite nest (the size of my head) by hand, tearing it apart fistful by fistful.

So now my house is ready for the rain. And somehow, a chicken managed to get on top of my roof. From inside, I could see his little head poking through the palms and looking down. I told the kids that were reading books that the chicken wanted to listen, too. I hope that rascal doesn’t make a nest or harm my new roof. If he does, I’ll eat him.

27 years

2008-05-06T15:57:00.000-04:00

I haven’t taken a stick to one in exactly 20 years. The last time was at my 3rd grade birthday party. But today, I once again had the opportunity to hit a pinata. At 9:00 this morning, a couple of kids came to my house to ask that I come to the school at 10:30. I told the students that because my friend would be visiting today, I wouldn’t be able to. Around 9:30, I headed up the hill to the school to tell the teachers in person that I would be unavailable later on. As I approached, the children ran out of the school, met me at the hill, and told me that I couldn’t enter. The smiling teacher soon followed and said, “It was going to be a surprise.” They were throwing me a surprise birthday party! How exciting- I’ve never had a surprise party. Too bad I ruined the surprise.

Per their request, I left and then shortly thereafter reapproached the school. This time, the kids sat giddy in their seats, saying, “She’s coming, she’s coming.” As I walked through the door, my mouth dropped. Each of the cheering students was wearing a hand-made party hat. Colorful streamers adorned the walls. The chalkboard said Happy Birthday. A stream of balloons hung across the teacher’s desk. I was escorted to the chair behind the desk, which felt more like a throne. Ontop of the desk were cookies as well as a large vanilla cake, personalized for my birthday and decorated with beautiful floral icing and fruitloops.

Then the games began. We sang songs and did the macarena. A cd player was hooked up to the solar panel and we danced up a storm to latin music. Later, the pinata was hung and I had my first swing at a candy-filled paper doll in 2 decades. Finally, the cake was lit and everyone sung happy birthday, blew into party noise-makers, and enjoyed delicious cake and juice.

I think this is the best birthday party I’ve ever had. There are birthdays where you get the chance to drive, or vote, or see rated R movies, or drink, or get a discount on car insurance. But how often do you get the chance to feel 20 years younger? I loved feeling like a kid again. The most meaningful part of my birthday extravaganza, though, was the thoughtfulness and generosity of the teachers and parents. A community that has so little pulled together to make my birthday such a special day. I am floored. I can’t even begin to express how much that means to me.

2nd Trip Home

2008-05-06T15:39:00.000-04:00

When your only sister is having her first baby while you are living in the jungle, you do whatever is necessary to spend at least some time with her during such an important time of her life. So, I went home again to see Michele, the belly, and the babyshower.

It wouldn’t be a Panamanian story if it didn’t begin and end with crazy bus adventures. The day before my flight, I took a bus to the central bus station. This busdriver, as they so often do, changed his mind about the destination of the bus in route. As I unboarded the bus at my non-destination, the busdriver would not accept my 25cent fare. Maybe it was because he didn’t get me where I needed to go. Or maybe it was because he hoped I would agree to his request to take him to the states with me.

Another free bus ride was only moments away. After I finally reached the bus station, I grabbed an airport-bound bus. The first red flag was when we stalled-out as we left the terminal. We proceeded to stall out at every traffic light. Twenty minutes into the ride, the bus finally broke down for good and all passengers deboarded. Seconds later, another airport-bound bus stopped, but attempting to cram passengers from 2 buses into 1 left me and my luggage on the street. 20 minutes later, another airport bus went by but was too full to stop for more passengers. 20 minutes later, another went by without stopping. 20 minutes later yet another went by but this one I chased down seeing as the sun was setting and I was alone in a neighborhood I didn’t know. So I caught up to the bus driver at a traffic light, cut across the cars and banged on the door. I knew there was room for me if we tried. But he didn’t want to try and preferred to leave me in his dust. So, I decided to catch a bus going in the opposite direction, go back to the bus terminal, and start over. I splurged on my next airport-bound bus ($1 instead of 25cents) which was a motor coach with a.c. and was less likely to break down. This one got me to the airport spendidly.

Once in the states, it was so, so good to see my family. My sister is the cutest pregnant lady ever and is going to make the coolest Mom. The baby shower was beautiful, and her little bundle of joy is going to have a better wardrobe and book collection than me. My grandmother took me out for a delicious steak dinner upon my arrival (my suitcase was still in the car). I got more than my fill of heavenly Moe’s and Chick-fil-a. I attended my Mom’s English as a Second Language class that she teaches in an elementary school and got a couple ideas for my English class. I slept in comfy beds and enjoyed hours of hot showers. It was perfect. And yet I missed Panama. The week in the states flew by, and when it was time to go, I was ready. I just wished I could have taken everyone back to Panama with me.

Once back in Panama, I stayed overnight in the Panama airport and waited for the buses to start running. A magician waiting for his flight kept the security guards and us passengers entertained until 3:00am. One trick involved fire and I thought he would be asked to stop his performances. Then, I remembered I was in Panama. A land of less worries. Leaving the airport, I waited an hour and a half to catch a bus, but they were all full. So, I decided to catch a nearly empty bus going in the opposite direction which meant a longer ride to the end of the line and back, but a ride none the less. I had both feet on the bus when the bus driver pulled away from the stop. But because I had my computer and skateboard in one hand, I had only 1 free hand to maneuver my giant suitcase filled with girlscout cookies as we were hauling along, the highway a mere foot away from my feet at the open door, until a helpful passenger yanked up my suitcase. At the end of the line, the driver said he was not continuing back immediately but took me to a location to catch a return bus. I tried to pay him double because I should have asked his schedule beforehand and appreciated him going out of the way, but he wouldn’t accept additional fare. My return bus was the same type of high class $1 bus I had used to get to the airport. Once again, though, the driver changed his mind in route about the final destination of the bus, kicked off passengers, and gave a discounted fare to make up for the inconvenience. Sheesh. I thought I was seeing things as across the intersection was the exact bus I needed for my village, a bus that is hard to come by. I ran, crossed traffic, and caught up to the bus. Luckily this driver didn’t just wag his finger, shake his head, and drive off like the last time. He opened the door, I boarded, and soon I was back home in my home sweet hut.

Nature's Skylights

2008-04-02T03:09:00.003-04:00

Thanks to the windy season (thank goodness it is not in conjunction with the rainy season), parts of my roof have blown away, thus creating skylights. The photos are of my roof, the inside of my house (the one time it rained this season), pieces of my roof I gathered in my yard, and chickens playing in my roof palms.

Some of my buddies

2008-04-02T02:29:00.004-04:00

Me, Melissa, and Kelly/ Andrew, his house (with a garden) and Dennis/ Dang Quesadilas at Andrew's/ Emily/ Emily, Me, and her fabulous door/ Our Christmas Tree complements of Emily

Tourists' Timing

2008-04-02T02:24:00.001-04:00

I think I may need to start filtering my water again as I’ve had a stomach bug for a week. There is no prettier place to feel crummy, though. It’s wonderful to rest in a hammock amidst a beautiful rainforest with a crisp breeze. Until I open my eyes and see a strange women standing over me who says, “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought this was the school.” Ahhh, silly tourists. So down came the alphabet posters that the previous volunteer posted on the wall.

Sometimes, however, tourists can have impecable timing. Since I only have 1 set of sheets, I went to a laundrymat outside my community. On the way back, the bus broke down. With the hood open and several belts in hand, the bus driver’s ameliorating labors seemed promising. Then, after 10 minutes, he entered the bus and said, “Ok, I need to use someone’s cell phone.” Looked like me and my big bag of laundry were walking an hour home. Just as soon as I had paid my partial fare and hopped off the bus, a van pulled up, and a familiar face asked, “Need a ride?” Heck yes I did. So, I hopped aboard and was greeted by a group of smiling American tourists saying "Hi" in unison. Thanks to the my tour guide friend, I enjoyed a lovely, smooth, and airconditioned ride back home. Ahhh, the fabulous tourists.

Painting a Mural

2008-04-02T02:11:00.003-04:00

Mick, kiddos, and kiddos when I wasn't looking

Photos of the Community

2008-04-02T01:57:00.005-04:00

The village, the basketball goal/tree, and the school

I like lists. And here’s a list of reasons why. kidding.

2008-02-12T00:33:00.000-05:00

Things that make me smile

2008-02-12T00:16:00.000-05:00

- Instead of a picture of a paradise as my computer desktop background, I really do overlook a paradise while typing

- Little kiddos that say Hola Debala because they can’t say r’s yet

- Not having to wait for a bus. And actually getting a seat on the bus. And a front seat, which reduces bouncing around by a factor of 12. And if Spanish Rap or music with an accordion isn’t blaring from the speakers

- Having a secret language with the Indians

- Music from wooden flutes

- When the secretary jokes that the Tour Group’s savings are for a company car (a stovetop is hard enough to get here on the canoe)

- Children excited about reading

- That our accounting group can now complete our new computerized payroll without my help

- That employees are paid accurately

- When my English students ask the meaning of phrases like summer love and lean back

- Waiting only 10 minutes in the waiting room for a doctor’s appointment that I am an hour early for

- Receiving text messages and phone calls

More Photos

2008-01-21T09:32:00.000-05:00

The above photos are of:
~ The pesky snake that was in the roof…right over my bed
~ Nelson & I choking on marshmallows while playing Chubby Bunny
~ Jake & my boss concentrating while playing Chubby Bunny (whoever can stuff their mouth with the most marshmallows and still say Chubby Bunny is the proud winner)
~ The most incredible package in the entire world sent from my friends at my last job Young Contracting (addressed to Sister Deborah and adorned with Jesus & Church drawings as to avert Customs from messing with the package)
~ The contents of the most incredible package in the entire world which includes gum, nuts, soup, more gum, more nuts, bug-spray towelettes (fancy!), tuna, more gum, a home-made card, more nuts, travel toiletry kits, beverage mixes, ziplock bags, more gum, a frying pan (with teflon!), more nuts, hairbands, dental supplies, first-aid supplies, and more gum. All packed in tampons. Maybe that is why Customs didn’t mess with my most incredible package in the entire world.

10 Ways Life is Different in Panama:

2008-01-20T13:50:00.000-05:00

1. Accidentally dropping things through the gaps in my kitchen floor

2. Neighbors stop by daily (and the kids are great for retrieving the objects under my house which I’ve dropped)

3. I know my neighbor’s names ~ can hardly converse with them, but at least I can address them properly before I begin to confuse them with my Spanglish babble

4. Scraps + an underhand pitch over the side of the house + 24 hours = my new garbage disposal

5. Actually using a bathing suit as it’s name suggests by bathing in a river daily

6. The only one watching the five year old girl swimming in the river is the 6 year old friend she is swimming with. Even with the lack of (adult) supervision, kids never seem to drown or fall off the side of the hut or stumble onto the knife they are running with

7. Checking the rafters of the latrine for snakes. And kids, since the latrine is a favorite hiding spots for Hide and Seek

8. Peeing off the side of the house at night (which I would rather refrain from - and probably should have refrained from mentioning - but in the middle of the night, my ladder seems so precarious and the latrine so far away)

9. Roofs make great storage: machetes, plates, money (though money is not hidden in my roof since change would get lost in a palm roof)

10. All books in the village are in my house (unless the villagers are hiding their books in their roofs). Noone seems to read recreationally here. Yet.

The First Meeting

2008-01-09T08:14:00.000-05:00

2008 has been a series of firsts thus far. Tubing down a river lined with jungle and repelling down a waterfall in the rainforest have been some of the fun parts of my community “research” this year. Almost as nerve racking as entrusting my life to a rope hoisting me 30 meters above jagged rocks, was leading my first meeting in Spanish. I have been in the community for 2 months now learning about the culture and the needs of the village and compiled a list of potential projects to undertake. There are only 80 people in my village and all major decisions are made communally. Thus, a meeting to discuss possible projects was in order. My preparations for this meeting included a giant handrwritten list of ideas, a homemade presentation stand, a portable light for the nighttime/ outdoor meeting, cookies, accounting/ marketing prototypes, and of course, my spanish dictionary. After ringing the community bell, our meeting commenced. And it was actually fun…akward, confusing, and frustrating at times, but overrall successful. Resutlingly, our agenda for the next 2 years will include obtaining additional solar panels, obtaining/ learning to use computers, improving tourism, negotiating better tourism prices, selling more artesanry, personal finance, teaching English, Girl Scouts, sustainable agriculture, a library, presentations on health, and composting latrines.

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time

2008-01-08T13:13:00.000-05:00

(I borrowed the title for this blog from the name of a book my cousin Lauren lent me)

Eleven O’clock rolled around but I still I couldn’t sleep. Bed time here is 9:00 because that is when the generator stops providing electricity, and thus the community goes dark. I am usually comfortable in my cozy living quarters consisting of a sleeping pad, mosquito net, fabulous new pillow, and a blanket from my last airplane flight (they throw those away, right?), but I decided I might have more luck resting in the hammock. So, I exited my newly added hut walls, and sank into the hammock in the opened portion of the hut. Peaceful. Quiet. Breezy. Then, I heard something scurrying under my hut. Must be a dog or a chicken, I thought. The noise continued for a few more minutes. Curious what could be there, I approached the edge of the hut, laid down with my flashlight in hand, and peered under the hut. My flashlight dimly illuminated the culprit of the disturbance. The figure was not a dog or a chicken, but rather a man. When I yelled to know who was there, the figure crept to the other side beneath the house. So I hurried to the other side of the house, only in time to see the figure heading into the woods and out of sight.

After spending the rest of that night behind my closed and locked door not sleeping a wink, I discussed the strange incident with the Indian Chief the following morning. Although I was not able to distinguish the face of the figure in the darkness, the person was definitely a male in their twenties or thirties. I informed the Chief that I would be out of town that night for Thanksgiving, but when I returned, I would like to know who was under my hut and why~ surely there was a logical explanation.

Upon my arrival back to the community, I spoke with the Chief. (Side note- Because I am cheap, I took a midnight bus to the Thanksgiving dinner, stayed a few hours, then hopped another midnight bus back to avoid hotel expenses. This equates to no sleep for three days. When I got back to my site, the community was lugging cinder blocks from the river up a monstrous hill to the school. On my way out of site for Thanksgiving, I slipped and fell, which is a common occurrence for my graceful self seeing as though my first night in site, I fell 4 times on a pesky hill. So, what better time to practice gracing the rocky terrain than after 3 sleepless nights armed with cinder blocks that if I drop, there will won’t be enough material for the school walls). Back to my conversation with the chief. When I asked him if he had determined who had been under my house previously, he responded, “Well, who do you think it was? Maybe it was a dog.” Although his investigation was clearly fruitless, and I still to this day do not know who was under the hut, fortunately, there has not been a reoccurrence.

Painted

2008-01-08T12:24:00.000-05:00

Photos are of me and Jake sporting Jagua Paint as well as me and my new/ free shirt from the Peace Corp's Free Bin.

The Integration (or lack there of?)

2007-11-26T10:37:00.000-05:00

During my first 3 months in site, my efforts will be concentrated on getting to know the community, building a foundation of trust, and learning the needs and wants of the families. After this phase, we will choose projects to work on together. T his phase should be quite fun and easy as the focus is more on socializing than working. And at times, it is enjoyable to learn to play a wooden flute, weave a basket, watch soccer games, swim in the waterfall, cook, and chat with everyone.

I still feel very much like a foreigner, though. When I ask (in Spanish) if I can sit down and join a group of women, they look at me, laugh, and talk to each other in Embera (their native tounge). When I ask for clarification in Spanish, I am told to learn Embera. So, I explain that I want to learn plenty of Embera for it is the language of friendship, but I also need to focus on Spanish because it is the language of business. The various agencies I am communicating with to help the community do not speak Embera. The women respond that the volunteer before me spoke a ton of Embera. Sheesh. She also arrived speaking Spanish well. I am pretty sure that the community would prefer that I speak Spanish on a level better than a 5 year old when I ask an agency for assistance with a computer lab.

To exacerbate my feelings of being an outsider, the community held a meeting. Upon my approach to the meeting, I was told that this was an Embera meeting. The 2 meetings I have attended here before have also been conducted in the Embera language. I explained that even if I am not able to pick up on all of the words, there is still much information to be learned from a meeting such as who leads, who participates, and how disputes are handled. I was then told that it is not just an Embera meeting, it was for Emberas only. And so, I could not attend. Ouch.

There are days, though, when I feel less like a foreigner/tourist and more like a member of the community. Slowly, I am learning that starting the day with a How To Speak Embera book in my hand, if only for even a 1/2 hour, carries great weight with the community; that if I sit alone in the community hall, individuals and small groups will join me and open up; and that kids want to be my best buddies. I don´t know that I´ll ever reach the point that I walk around topless like the women here do, but slowly I am integrating into this community.

My House

2007-11-14T22:30:00.000-05:00

(Captions: The boatride to my site, my house, my stairs, my bedroom, my dining room table- without legs yet, kids slip´n´sliding, my shower)

The 21st place I rested my head in Panama is the place I can now call home. I never imagined how living out of a bag and having no control over my food for 12 weeks could take such a toll on my spirit and health. But after one night in my house, the most incredible house ever, I realize the journey here was more than worth it. I wake up each morning looking into a rain forest. During thunderstorms, my front yard doubles as a slip-and-side for the neighborhood kids. People stop by to chat throughout the day. I climb a log ladder. Chickens run around underneath my house. I am also fortunate that the previous volunteer equipped the house with tons of amenities including an upstairs sink, three benches, books, toys for the kiddos, a masquito net, and Christmas lights. I added the finishing touches of a bedroom wall and door (per Peace Corps’ new regulations) as well as a stove. The first meals I cooked were soup (well, I boiled water for my Cup-a-Noodles…but if heat is involved, I call it cooking) and popcorn. Mmmm. I found a use for the unused socks I brought with me given that I don’t wear shoes often: pot holders. I am also now able to boil water for a hot sponge (sock) bath which is divine. Home sweet hut!

Fun Photos

2007-11-14T10:38:00.000-05:00

Photos are of all East Side Volunteers (East of the Canal), Halloween, Cute Kiddo, Skit during training, and Emily and Jake (2 of the coolest volunteers).

The Wedding

2007-11-05T00:35:00.000-05:00

Despite my requests that my friends and family put their lives on hold during my service in the Peace Corps, my sister decided to get married. And so after only 11 weeks in Panama, I flew home for the wedding, ecstatic about being a part of the biggest day in my sister’s life but a little nervous about stepping back into my American comfort zone (and liking it a little too much).

Michele could not have picked a better day for her outdoor wedding- a beautiful autumn afternoon with a slight, crisp breeze, and red, orange, and golden rustling leaves on the trees. As an added bonus, my Aunt Mary pampered the bridal party with professionally styled hair and make-up. The salon glamorized my sister with ease. I, however, was another story. First, my hair underwent a laborious shampooing process to undo the damage culminated by weeks of quick cold showers, bathes in rivers, and not to mention that my last shower before the wedding had consisted only of a monumental rainfall during a boatride in my village. Needless to say, the professionals had their hands full with my jungle mophead. Once my stylist began to style my hair, she suggested with great concern that she trim my hair. When I replied that I was a volunteer and would not be able to afford any services not already on the agenda, she looked me once over and said, “It’s on the house.” A pity cut! Afterwards, with my new hair, make-up, and Maid of Honor dress, I truly felt like I had undergone a “What Not To Wear” makeover miracle.

The wedding was spectacular. With my sister’s elegant style and the arduous, collaborative efforts of my family members (my role solely being to show up!) it’s unbelievable to fathom that this wedding was planned in less than 3 months.

I must admit that it was incredible to be back home (I still identify Atlanta as home and not yet Panama). Seeing family and friends, eating delicious food (including medium rare beef and not an ounce of plain white rice), conducting a business transaction quickly and straight forward, Walmart, a bed, lack of humidity, and a hot bathe were so, so enjoyable. I did, however, wake up each night in Atlanta extremely disoriented as to where I was, I had my first dream in Spanish (yay!), and I missed my volunteer friends as well as assertive Panamanian drivers. Although difficult to say goodbye to home again, part of me was also ready to return to Panama to work.

The Jungle

2007-09-30T18:01:00.000-04:00

(Photos are of me degraining rice, my newest host family, and other members of the Indigenous Community)

As part of cultural training, I spent the past week in the Jungle with an indigenous community. We trecked through the rain forrest and climbed precarious rocks to see an aqueduct on a waterfall. As facinating as the landscape here is, the people are even more astounding. The level of poverty in this community is heartbreaking (although there are parts of Panama even worse off). The latrines are overflowing, the children are often naked, many residents have some sort of sickness, and malnutrition is rampant. The daily diet consists primarily of plantains and rice (unprocessed rice can be purchased although it requires much manual labor before consumption).

Despite their destitution, the community is incredibly generous. For each meal, my Host Grandma laid a skirt on the table for my dining placemat. She also wrapped a beautiful skirt around my waist for a celebration, wrapped my hair in her butterfly clip, as well as wove me a beautiful, intreciate hand fan, which is one of the most meaningful gifts I have ever received. This may sound odd and cheesy, but this is the best way I can describe the community; the comfortable feeling I get when someone plays with my hair is the same warm feeling I get when I am sitting with this new host family.

The children here are little superheroes. They do handstands, backhandsprings, flips, walk on home-made stilts, wander through the community and then up home-made ladders of neighboring huts alone at the age of 3. They are so curious and have so much potential. If only they could afford an decent education....which is where I hope to come into the picture by helping to promote economic opportunites. I can´t wait to get started. Only 3 more weeks of training.

The Touristy Part of Training

2007-09-23T12:36:00.001-04:00

As part of training this week, we visited a couple spectacular places in Panama including a Cheese Plant and a Coffee farm. The first photo is of us 20 business volunteers plus our trainers near the cheese plant (I am disapointed that cheese is not a greater part of the Panamaian diet,) and the other photo is of Joanna, Lydia, and me sipping our fresh coffee.

The Site Announcement

2007-09-15T13:35:00.000-04:00

(Description of photos above: Jake and I at the Site Revealing pointing to our sites / A pig at Spanish Class / Chickens at Spanish Class /Monkeys at Technical Class / The platter that my Sister Michele and Cousin Lauren painted for my Host Family that is now always displayed on the dinner table)

Training has been exhausting as it engulfs all 7 days of the week and allows for very little recooperation time. In addition, we have not known where we will be working, so our time thus far has been abstract and theoretical.

Until now.

After much anticipation and consideration during the site matching process, I now know where I will be working during my next 2 years. I am absolutely estatic to be going to my community as it embodies my idea of the perfect site...but boy are my nerves working up a storm.

To arrive at my site, I will take two short bus rides and then a quick trip in a dug out canoe to reach my indigenous site of less than 100 people. The residents work collaboratively in tourism by entertaining tourists with their beautiful clothing, language, dancing, and customs while also selling impressive artisanry. My home, like the others in the community, will be a palm thatched roof hut withought walls built on stilts. Another Peace Corps volunteer will be only a few minutes away in a neighboring village. Possible forthcoming projects in my site include running a computer lab off of solar power, improving tourism, personal finance training, and leading youth groups. I am truly excited about this venture and cannot wait to get started (after 5 more weeks of training).

Did I mention, though, that there was a previous volunteer from the Peace Corps in this site? Actually, it was a married couple...super successful with their endeavors...the epidimy of what the Peace Corps can accomplish...leaving big shoes to fill....oh - and the wife of the couple will be my boss.

Spanish is fortunately spoken in my community in addition to the indigenous language. I am, however, training to learn the indigenous language so that I can better integrate into the community, although my Spanish is still very much a work in progress. Thus, communicating in a 2nd language that I am rocky with to learn words in a completely new 3rd language is fairly challenging. Also, my community specifically requested a Peace Corps volunteer who will be a negotiator to empower the community to reach more equitable terms with tourism agencies. Unfortunately, I would not say that negotiating is my strong suit, but maybe I can put to great use all of my accumulated Clark Howard tips for giving the little guy an upperhand.

Despite the pressure I feel to be successful, I am so, so, so excited about my community and the possibilities of making a lasting impact.

The Sample Site

2007-09-03T15:12:00.000-04:00

(The photos above are of a public bus, Michelle´s homecooked tacos, Michelle´s neighborhood kids, a mangly Whytegalow lookalike, and a nearby beach)

After 2 weeks of nonstop training consisting of classes, studying Spanish, and virtually no free time, each Trainee visited a current Volunteer in Panama to see an example of where we might work and what work we might do.

Traveling in Panama is always interesting. The Public buses here are old school buses from the U.S., and bus drivers take great pride in decorating them. On my way to the site, the bus driver held a cup in one hand, a cellphone in the other, shifted gears (but never steered with his knee), and rumaged through his CD collection, while crossing a double yellow line to pass a car. The bus had fixtures where side mirrors once were mounted but had since come off. An overhead mirror remained; however, it was adorned with stickers. At times, the bus driver stopped in the road to add oil or clutch fluid (not all buses have properly functioning clutches although they do all seem to have working cd players and loud speakers). We stopped at the Panama Canal to wait for boats to pass through, and the bus driver turned off the bus and got off, leaving the keys in the ignition for our 20 minute delay (Panama hopes to build a bridge for vehicles to cross the canal at this junction, but until then, vehicles wait up to an hour...even ambulances!)

I really lucked out on this sample site visit, which consisted of a much needed minivacation after non-stop training. Michelle, the incredibly hospitable volunteer I visisted, cooked tacos (I was craving Moe´s!), spaghetti, and scrambled eggs. Heaven! We spent a day at the beach, which helped relieve training, cultural, and homesickness frustrations.

The visit was not solely recreational, though. It was also a great opportunity to learn what expect once I am out of training. My favorite aspect of Michelle´s site is that after 10 months of her living there, everyone in the community of 300 people knows her name (after living in my house for 3 years in Georgia, I couldn´t name half of the people on my couldesac). Michelle works with an Eco Tourism group, amoung many other groups. Despite her efforts, her projects do not progress as quickly as hoped. Meetings are often inefficient, and when the community expressess an interest in learning accounting or English, there is sometimes little follow through on their part. There is a differnt pace of life here which will take some getting used to.

This visit has been the best part of my Peace Corps experience thus far. The site was incredible, I learned so much from Michelle, and and feel revived. But back to training I go.

My Host Family

2007-08-24T13:07:00.000-04:00

(The photos above are of my Host Family, their house, yard, and 5 year old daughter. I´d orientate the photos if I could read Spanish).

This morning I woke up to the sound of the Father of my Panamainian Host Family blaring Madonna on the stero. It was nice to hear something familiar as I have been living with this family of six for now one week and feel like I am on Mars. The wonderful family of 6 is incredibly generous, but every few hours my mouth drops at the site of something bizarre or incredible. Life now, and for the next 3 months, consists of sleeping in a mosquito net (my prized possession), being awakened at all hours of the night or having my outdoor classes interrupted by crazy roosters that enjoy cockadoodledooing all day long, decorative concrete windows with no glass or screens to separate my bedroom from outdoors, sitting in a friend´s inflatable pool with a view of rainforests and mountains, my new best friend is my Host Family´s 5 year old daughter who is so patient with my attempts at Spanish, hiking to a waterfall, salamanders in the house on the daily, my outdoor bathroom has no door, school is canceled for my Host Family´s children if the teacher has a doctor´s appointment, I walk to class and back home for lunch, rain on the metal roof, cooking fried plantains, cooking fresh chicken soup(as in it doesn´t get any fresher if you catch my drift), and having a male friend walk me home after 7:00pm. I am slowly getting accustomed to Panama.

Next week, I will be venturing into the Eastern part of Panama (fairly close to Columbia) to visit a current volunteer who lives with an Indigenous community. I would prefer to be visiting a Latino community on the coast, but maybe I´ll enjoy this site...which could end up being where I´ll work.

I miss you all so very much!

(I no longer have spell check in English, so I appologize for all spelling mistakes)

The Arrival

2007-08-17T12:44:00.000-04:00

I am finally in Panama, and it is absolutely surreal. Fortunately, my first experience through Customs was smooth, and all 105 lbs of my luggage arrived in tact. To my surprise, these first days in the country have felt like a vacation. Although we wake up early to complete paperwork, receive vaccinations, and take tests (during today's swim test, I learned how to make a floatation device out of a pair of pants), our temporary living arrangements are resort-like villas with a kitchen, den, dining room, and community pool amidst palm trees and exotic birds. Our meals are prepared for us and have transitioned from from American sandwiches or pancakes and hashbrowns to the more Panamanian dishes with rice and beans. Fried fish has been delicious. Fried plantain not so much.

This Sunday, I will move to the home of my Host Family where I will be training and living in presumably more modest conditions for the next 3 months. Learning Spanish is my top priority, and I have realized I can't be afraid to look silly. This evening, another Peace Corps volunteer and I wanted to play soccer. While she waited, I found a Panamanian staff member on site, spoke to him briefly, and returned with news that no soccer balls were available. The other Peace Corps volunteer was impressed that I communicated with a local and asked what I said to him. I had asked him, "Habla Usted Ingles?" (Do you speak Spanish), and he answered yes. I had chickened out. I will not learn another language if I resort to English, so Panamanians, get ready for some broken phrases, mis-conjugated verbs, adjectives that do not agree, Spanglish, and the vocabulary of an elementary school student. But it is better to look silly than to not progress with the language.

The Farewell

2007-08-04T17:06:00.001-04:00

My wonderful boss Judy put together a warm and thoughtful going away luncheon filled with fabulous food and a chance to see my incredible coworkers one last time before shipping out. And thanks to Carole and her gift of fruit and vegetable seeds, I'll be Farmer Deb in no time!

The Invitation

2007-07-05T12:08:00.000-04:00

Too impatient to wait until I got home to open the mail, I asked my Mom to call me at work upon receipt of my Peace Corps invitation letter. After a roller coaster ride of preparing to accept an invitation into the Peace Corps (including seeing 6 doctors, discovering that I have an odd heart condition that baffles even the doctors, and selling my house as well as all of my possessions), I was more than ready to learn where my assignment would be. On the morning of June 7th 2007, my Mom called to announce that my home for the next 27 months would be...drumroll, please...

Panama.

Home of the famous canal and...hmmmmm...my knowledge of this country seems to end right about there. So, I immediately began to read about Panama- from Peace Corps provided info to Travel Books, Websites, and Volunteer Blogs. My readings (and imagination) have resultingly triggered the following concerns:

Getting lost in a foreign country (I purchased a map and a compass to combat my poor sense of direction)
Sickness (Parasites, Amoebas, stomach virus, snake bites, scorpions, mosquito-borne diseases, and rashes)
Food (I'm not a big fan of beans, rice, plantains, or fried food, which seem to be the major staples)
Missing friends and family (Get your passports now)
Belton (Inducing a 27 month break on our relationship of five years is a stress that will make or break us in the long run)
Too little/ too much luggage (2 bags totaling 80lbs plus one carry-on doesn't seem like much to live with for 27 months, but I wonder if an over-crowded bus or truck may leave me in their dust at the sight of my hefty bags)
The airport loosing my luggage (My compass and map will be in my carry-on)
I am not an outdoorsy person (I realize this is ironic for a Peace Corps volunteer, but I prefer working indoors with little dirt and few critters)
Safety
Language (Worried about not becoming fluent in Spanish quickly... and then possibly having to learn another language- a dialect of an indigenous tribe)
Latrines (Or even worse, a lack of one)
Male Dominated Society
Rejection by females of the community as I do not enjoy cooking or cleaning
Poor Job Performance / Not positively impacting the community (Some of my predecessors have big shoes to fill)
Peace Corps' Effectiveness (After a presence in Panama from 1963-1971 and then from 1990-the present consisting of 1,576 volunteers, there is still a large discrepancy between the rich and poor in Panama. Although well intended, is the Peace Corps making a significant impact?)
Funding my Peace Corps projects (I do not solicit money from those who have not indicated an interest; however, the Peace Corps suggests requesting funding from friends and family. Don't worry, I will not be asking you for money. Deodorant maybe)
Manuel Noriega (The dictator ousted in 1989 will be released from a prison in Miami on September 9, 2007, which will be my 27th day in the country. I have read that if he returns to Panama, he may be tried for murder. I have also read that he has influential allies and may instead return to politics in Panama)
Possible lack of Internet (There goes my philosophy that although I may not have all of the answers, I know where to find them. Wikipedia. Kidding)
Guilt of helping strangers when there are people I know that need help
Guilt of leaving the Panamanian community to return home to the USA, a country with so many opportunities

Have you ever read so much negativity on one page? With the exception of an excerpt from a Michael Moore book, probably not. And with a list like this, one might conclude that Peace Corps service in Panama just might not be the best match for me. However, the beauty and challenge of the Peace Corps, I believe, is turning the negatives into positives. Although the preceding list will be interesting in retrospection when my service concludes, the following list is the important list as it outlines what excites me about my impending venture and my underlying motivations for Peace Corps service :

A chance to positively impact the world
Challenge
Use of my degree and work experience
Segway into a career in International Human Resources
Spanish fluency
Meeting and learning from incredible people (The women of these Panamanian communities often give birth with no medical treatment- wow)
Appreciation of things I take for granted
Time away from computers and mounds of paper
Not driving
Siestas possibly (I miss naps. You know you do, too)
Latin Dancing (Hopefully any future Latin dancing experience will not involve an instructor running out of the room with a bloody lip like the last time. It was an accident)
Practicing the Buddhist philosophy of disattachment to material items
48 vacation days to travel
Parts of Panama are a tropical paradise

I feel extremely fortunate to serve in Peace Corps-Panama. Although I leave for training in Washington D.C. in five weeks, my bags are already packed.

Peace Corps mandated disclaimer- The views on this blog do not represent the views of the Peace Corps.